Conversations That Make Me Want to Smack Myself in the Forehead: Part 3

This conversation took place over my request that Ethan wear a shirt during meal times.

Ethan: But I have to let my body breathe!

Me: It breathes at night.

Ethan: But it’s under covers.

Me: It breathes in the shower.

Ethan: But it’s under water.

Me: Women don’t ever get to let their bodies breathe, and we’re okay.

Ethan: No you’re not. That’s why you don’t live as long.

Me: What? Women live longer than men!

Ethan: But is that really living?

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Conversations That Make Me Want to Smack Myself in the Forehead Part 2

Why I shouldn’t ask my fiance for clothing advice.

Me: Ethan, does this shirt go with this jacket? I bought the shirt because I needed something for under the jacket.

Ethan: You look tiny.

Me: What?

Ethan: The shoulders are huge on your little body. I think it’s too big for you.

Me: No, I LIKE the jacket! I was asking you if the SHIRT goes with it!

Ethan: Oh! Well… no, I would have gone with orange.