September 27, 2010 § Leave a comment

As I said earlier, I have a habit of recording funny conversations. Colleen called me laughing one day, dying to share this story so that we could record it for posterity. This took place several years ago, when Maureen’s oldest daughter, Abby, was about four and Maureen’s son, Nick, was about a year old. The conversation began with what I hope was Maureen’s joke that Colleen should quit school and become a full-time mother.  The following is a transcript of what Colleen heard through the phone.

Maureen: Colleen, you don’t need to go to college! Why don’t you drop everything, have kids, and be a stay at home mom, right now… Oh, Abby, no! Stop it! Damn. Oops… Abby just locked me in the pantry. Abby, seriously, I gotta get out… God Colleen, she’s stronger than I thought!

 [Maureen pushes and pushes at the door.  She finally gets the door open and, when there is a little space, puts a dirty diaper through the crack, yelling “Aaah! A dirty diaper!” At this point, Abby screams and runs away. Maureen exits the pantry.]

Maureen: Uh-oh! Nicholas is in the freezer. Abby, stop it! Abby, stop it! Abby is trying to close the freezer door on Nicholas. [It should be said that by “in the freezer,” Maureen meant that he had gotten the freezer door open and was taking things out.]

 [The sound of the ice cream man is heard in the background.]

 Abby: Ice cream! Ice cream!

 Maureen: No. You just locked me in the pantry. [Under her breath, into the phone: “No she’s not going to have ice cream! She locked me in the pantry!”]

 [Abby whines and moans, and Maureen goes back to the kitchen, continuing her conversation about motherhood.]

Maureen: No, seriously, it really is a very rewarding experience… Abby, take that rubber band off your head! [laughs]  Abby was defiant, but it helped keep the hair out of her eyes.

– Patty

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